fat tuesday’s cool noise

did exist. Maybe fat tuesday still exists. I can’t seem to find it anywhere on the web, but it could still be primarily a print journal.

Sometime during 1996, fat tuesday created an experimental audio edition instead of their usual print copy. The result was fat tuesday’s cool noise, an audiocassette (!!!) of poetry, monologues, plays, and short stories.

I had come across the journal somewhere in NYC, and knew Bukowski had published some of his work there. I took a chance, and I was beyond excited when they accepted one of my poems in that experimental edition.

I love that this was my first poem published, and that this was the first place I published my work.

fat tuesday, wherever you are xo


I’m not immune to wailing
burning half moons into my arm
where tracks could have been
should have been
I’m afraid I’ve said too much.

I’m afraid of green neon words
short skirts, my upper arms
and ink: piercing my skin
scarring the page
I’m afraid I haven’t said enough.

I’m afraid of fire, the red
hot body, beaded sweat and
singed skin
I’m afraid of being heard.

I’m afraid I’m losing my mind
I scream across the page
and write to save myself
I crash
against the keys
of this
I refuse to crumble
I’m afraid no one has heard me.

I’m afraid no one has heard me.


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